There are many wonderful things that can happen with your moms and dad during a wedding. But you know too, that there are also problems that arise. Their problems don’t have to be your problems! Let’s take a few examples.
Your mom and dad aren’t married to each other and don’t get along. Your wedding is a day to celebrate love. Both of them love you and you can ask your parents to be a little flexible on your behalf on your wedding day. In fact you should be “up front” with them in asking for their cooperation and support.
First, don’t leave your dad or mom “alone” at your wedding. Suggest that a “a friend, date or spouse” would be a welcome addition to your guest list. That way they will have someone special with whom they can enjoy this wonderful day. Your wedding will be one of the best parties of their life. Make sure your dad or mom is surround with friends and family whose company they really enjoy. If your dad and mom don’t like to be with each other, make it easy for them to have lots of space. When I talk with you about your families, we will work out a great plan so you all will have a wonderful day.
Next, suppose your mom and dad aren’t married to each other but do get along. Who should walk in with the bride? When I ask “who presents this woman to be married,” who should answer? Let’s talk about that when we meet as we plan your wedding. They could both say, “We do!” Or your dad, could say “Your mother and I do.” Or we could come up with something entirely unique that just fits your parents.
Also, it could be that one or both of your parents will not be able to attend. There are lots of options. If one or both has died, we can mention them in a moment of silence and/or put a rose on an empty chair to honor them. Even if a parent is alive but unable to attend, we often do the same. Family members also can Skype or iPhone video the ceremony live so they can “be” with you anyway. Then we can schedule a time that fits a good time of day. Technology is wonderful. I always ask brides and grooms about their parents and we ALWAYS find the best possible solution.
Your parents really do love you and your fiancé’s parents feel the same. Just be sure to let me know the details of your family, so you all can say with enjoy “That has been the best day of my life.”
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